Every mother has things they want to tell their teen – things they’ve learned from experience and observation that they want to pass down. These are 12 things I want to share with my teen daughter…
My oldest has recently entered her teen years and I find it hard to believe. I look at her and still see the chubby baby that wanted to be held All. The. Time. And then I am confronted by the reality of her tall, willowy form as it emerges from her room each morning.
Time doesn’t stand still, and I look forward to seeing her grow as much as I dread it. I have so many hopes for her and I pray she doesn’t make half the mistakes her mother has made.
I think that’s why so many parents try to live through their children. They see it as an opportunity to answer the what-ifs, to take the other road, even if the feet walking it aren’t their own.
If I could give my teen daughter a few pieces of advice to smooth the road, whichever one she chooses, it would be these…
12 Things I Want My Teen Daughter to Know
Always stand tall
Even when you aren’t feeling confident, fake it ’til you make it. Push your shoulders back and hold you head up. Appearing sure of yourself often helps you feel that way. And take it from the animal world: making yourself appear bigger and fiercer staves off the predators.
Know your value so others will, too
No one has the right to make you feel bad, treat you poorly, or devalue you. Know that you are God’s child, worthy and loved. Anyone who tries to make you think or feel otherwise is not someone you want in your life. Even if they’re your “friend.”
Anything that rushes you isn’t worth doing
When people push you for hasty decisions, they aren’t leaving you time to consider the choice or make sure it’s right for you. Anyone or thing that feels like it’s rushing you, isn’t worth doing. That includes friends, family, schedules, and boys.
People are always more important
Always. If you find yourself questioning whether to say or do something that will improve your grades/career/financial situation/comfort, but will ultimately hurt someone or take something from them, don’t do it. You’ll never regret putting people first.
Being generous means never wanting for anything
The more you give, the less you need. That’s how God works. You meet the needs of others, and He will take care of yours. Nothing you give away, whether it’s money, time, or things, will be missed. So be generous.
Go with your gut. And your heart.
You were given intuition as a quick knee-jerk reaction that would keep you safe. Listen to it when it says, “He’s not the one,” “That’s dangerous,” or “This feels right.” And listen to your heart, where the Holy Spirit whispers and guides you toward the right path.
Don’t get hung up on what others are doing
Whether it’s fashion or language, hobbies or viewpoints, don’t spend time chasing what others are doing, saying, or thinking. Make up your own mind and don’t feel the need to match it to theirs. You were made unique – why would you think you’d need to be a clone of someone else?
Surround yourself with beauty
This includes beautiful things and people with inner beauty. Don’t fill your space or mind with negativity, cynicism, ugly drama, or judgement. Surround yourselves with people that lift you up and make you want to be a better person. Make your home (or room), no matter how big or small, something that brings you joy – whether that means minimalist furniture or knick-knacks a plenty.
Take care of your body
Oh, I know you’re young. But one day you won’t be and you’ll realize that things hurt or don’t work like they used to. You are not invincible, immortal, or static. Wear sunscreen. Wash your face at night. Exercise regularly. Eat decently. Drink water. Pass on the alcohol sometimes. Pass on the tobacco, etc. all the time. Take care of the body God gave you. It’s a gift that should be treated well.
Take care of your mind
Like your body, your mind is a gift. Exercise it. Utilize it. Strengthen it. Read more than you watch. Listen more than you speak. Think more than you judge. Fill your mind with good things that have value. Don’t waste it on social media trends and entertainment that have the nutritional value of candy corn. A little is fine, but too much and your mind will be as sour as your stomach.
Smile
It will quite literally change your life. Even on your worst days, if you can still smile, then you can still draw on the inner light within you. You can still bring forth that beauty. Your smile will in turn make others smile. And when you see their smile, your smile will grow. Because light begets light. You will make your life, and others’ lives, better, one smile at a time.
Accept yourself as you are
You are exactly as God made you. Your strengths and weaknesses. Your looks, brains, and skills. All are just as God intended. Don’t worry if your math isn’t as good as your grammar. Or if your body doesn’t match those airbrushed on screen. Or if you’d rather hang out with one good friend over a dozen acquaintances, or maybe with no one at all.
God doesn’t make mistakes. You are perfect just as you are. Remember that above all else.
These won’t be the only things I want my teen daughter to know. But they are some of the most important. And I’m sure, as any mother, there will be much more advice to come. That’s the prerogative of motherhood, if I’m not mistaken 🙂
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