Dear Dads,
I know what you’re thinking — thank goodness Walmart is open 24 hours (or at least late) on the night before Mother’s Day.
If you’re like many husbands who have forgotten Mother’s Day until it is (and she is) staring you in the face, then you’re not alone. And the stress is real… for both of you.
Mother’s Day is a holiday that is fraught with expectation and disappointment. And that’s not entirely your fault. Moms have to have expectations before you can disappoint them.
But how about taking the stress out this special Sunday for both of you?
I’m going to give you some advice from a mother who’s celebrated her share of Mother’s Days. Some good, some not so good. But a few things could have made them much better, if only my husband had known.
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First off…
- Don’t Forget. Look, we all know how busy life gets. And that this day falls on different dates every year so it can sneak up on you. But take a minute and mark your calendar, put an alarm on your phone, leave a post-it in your sock drawer. Whatever it takes, just don’t forget.
Moms take it personally. Sorry, but we do.
- Know your Wife. Motherhood doesn’t make us clones, so we don’t all like the same thing. Remember what your wife likes, or liked before the kids came. If she values fancy gifts, then a single rose may seem anti-climactic. On the other hand, a tennis bracelet may make your frugal spouse cringe and worry.
Your gift should reflect her individual tastes.
- Listen for the Clues. Women are not very subtle when they see something they want. And not just at the store. Look for the hints they drop as to what they want, even if they have no expectation of ever getting it.
The sore back that could use a massage. The long sigh as they wash the dinner dishes, wishing for a day off from daily chores. A long phone call with a friend they miss, but haven’t seen since the babies started arriving.
It’s not about Money. You really don’t need to spend a lot. If money is tight, don’t think that you need to spend more than you can afford on a gift. This day is about appreciation, and that can be done with little or no money, just imagination.- Get her what she wants, not necessarily what she needs. Motherhood evokes a lot of practicality in women. We tend to do what needs to be done long before doing what we want to do. So give her what she wants…
- Quiet time while you take the kids out for the day
- A spa package so she can be taken care of instead of taking care of everyone else
- A cleaning service to clean up the house so she doesn’t have to. Or you and the kids can do it while she’s out
- Breakfast in bed – after you wake up with the kids and feed them
- Take her shopping for something just for her – new shoes, clothes, perfume, etc.
- A membership to something she likes – a monthly wine club, Kindle Unlimited, etc.
- A letter or note from you – something that explains how you feel about her, how you appreciate her, your gratitude for how she cares for the family, etc.
- Involve the Kids. Not only is it nice to feel appreciated by the little beings we worked hard to bring into the world (and bring up in the world), it’s a good example for them. If you honor their mother for all that she does, they will see the value of her work as well.
- Don’t compare notes with other Dads. It doesn’t matter if your buddy got his wife jewelry, or if your co-worker isn’t doing anything for his wife because he says she isn’t his mother, or your brother says you can’t go wrong with flowers.
Those are not your wives, and the only woman you need to celebrate is the one you married. Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing, or what commercials and ads are telling you to do. Just do what makes your wife happy.
Mother’s Day may seem like a Hallmark holiday, it may seem like an excuse to spend money, and it may stress you out. But those are not the reasons that you celebrate it or her.
You celebrate Mother’s Day because the job of being a mother includes long hours, no pay, little thanks, and often, a loss of self. There are countless sacrifices made by mothers for their children. Your children.
Those little people that are half you came from her. She took the love she had for you and multiplied it to include them.
Before she became a mother (and you became a father), you were a couple. Now, you’re a family.
So honor your wife for all the work she does for that family. Let her know that you love and appreciate the time and sacrifice she puts into you all.
And don’t worry about when Walmart closes. You’ve got this.
Yours truly,
A Mom
What was your best Mother’s Day gift? I’d love to hear about it in the comments!
[Disclaimer: I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. This post contains affiliate links, which means that if you click on one of the product links, I’ll receive a commission, at no additional cost to you. All opinions are my own and I never recommend anything I haven’t used myself and loved.]
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