The opening credits to The Donna Reed Show will be forever ingrained in my mind. It shows Donna getting her kids off to school and her husband off to work, lunches in hand. What made the sequence fun to watch, and utterly unrealistic, was that it went like clockwork, one kid after the other, husband last. Train schedules don’t work with that much precision, let alone a household.
It would be nice to be able to time the family’s comings and goings down to the second so I could plan my day. But except for the times when school starts and ends, no day is quite like the last. I never know when my husband will be getting home, so it’s hard to have a meal waiting. The baby’s nap schedule is no schedule at all, so forget planning anything for that time. And bedtime can take 20 minutes or two hours. Do you struggle with this, too?
How do we make a plan for our day while still moving with the flow of our family?
This can be a challenge under the best of circumstances.. But add in after school activities, dual work schedules, and babies, and following the flow of your family may seem less babbling brook and more whitewater rafting. But despite what may seem like crazy disorder, you can still manage your time and get things done. Really!
The first thing you’ll need to do is stop trying to force your family to fit your plan. You know what I mean. You make a plan or a to-do list and then try to fit your family into it, like a square peg into a round hole. It’s a recipe for frustration.
I know all about this. If I’m not careful, I start making a plan for the day, and by noon, I feel like the wheels have come off the bus. I’m getting nothing done, my kids have the nerve to have doctor appointments, and my husband has an early shift (the one that’s been on the calendar all week). As I pull out my hair, I wonder why no one has any interest in my plan?!
Live and learn. The plan has to be made around the things the rest of the family is doing. If that means getting less done some days, then it does. At least it saves you the trouble of rewriting your plan for the week as things get bumped day to day.
Be realistic. I know, I say this all the time. But as veritable Superwomen, it’s really hard to remember our powers don’t extend to being able to clone ourselves. If your day is full of appointments and meetings and kids’ soccer games, don’t plan on making freezer meals for your neighbor who just came home from the hospital.
Start with your family’s schedule, then make your own. When I set up my plan for the week, I write down my husband’s schedule and any commitments the kids and I have. Then, I see where I can fit the things I need to get done in. That way, I don’t overwhelm myself or set us up to fail.
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If you’re wondering where you can fit things in, you might be surprised by the pockets of time that you often just let slide by. Either you don’t consider them long enough to do anything useful with or you get caught up doing something unproductive, like aimlessly scrolling through your newsfeed. Check out this book for ideas on how to use your fringe hours.
Work with their natural rhythms. If your kids are late risers, try to wake up a little earlier to do a few things around the house, or go to the gym, or relax with a book. If you have an extended nap time all to yourself (I’m not jealous, I swear), then have a friend over for coffee, prep meals for the week, or… gasp… take a nap. The point is to fit things in where you can, creating a schedule that works for you and works for your family.
And, of course, be flexible. I should have this tattooed on the palms of my hands. That way, every time I put my face in them when something’s gone wrong, I can be reminded. Nothing goes off without a hitch without a little flexibility and quick thinking. Definitely two powers that every Superwoman needs to have.
So when you make your plan for the day, remember to consider the flow of your family. It’s always easier to go with the current than against it. For everyone.
How do you work your day around the flow of your family? What is your biggest struggle? I’d love for you to let me know in the comments below!
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