When you’re an introvert, you crave quiet to recharge. So how do you survive as an introvert in a large and loud family?

[Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links. Please see below for more details]

When I picture my perfect day, I have to confess, it doesn’t include my husband or my kids. I know that sounds horrible, but hear me out.

My perfect day starts early, as the sun comes up. It’s a cool fall morning or maybe early spring. I’m sipping hot coffee or green tea on my balcony and listening to the sound of the birds and the other noises that accompany the waking up of the world around me.

My day is spent somewhere comfortable and quiet, like the library or my living room couch. I work on a puzzle, read a book, or maybe crotchet while watching a rerun of my favorite show. I take a long shower, paint my nails, do yoga, and sip on a glass of cab at the end of the day.

Does my perfect day sound crazy boring to you? Or like a little slice of heaven? If you said yes to the latter, then you’re probably an introvert like me.

The Introvert Life

You may wonder why someone who enjoys solitude as much as I do would have five children. Well, when a man and a woman really love each other… Oh, besides that… well, master planned or not, I wouldn’t trade this wild lot for anything. Though that does not stop me from occasionally wishing for a day of silence.

Introverts get a bad rap. People assume that because we prefer being alone or only in small, intimate gatherings that we hate people. Or because we don’t say anything when in a big group that we’re aloof, bored, or even angry.

But for introverts, we feel renewed when we are able to spend time in the quiet. We prefer to listen first before offering our ideas. We don’t mind letting the extroverts take the stage. We’re not bored, just thinking (ok, most of the time — we’ve all gone to a work meeting). We tend to stick to a small, core group of friends that we feel comfortable and close with, rather than a sprawling multitude of friends and acquaintances.

So, if you have a large family like me, how do you keep your sanity when solitude is just a pipe dream?

Here are 5 suggestions to help you survive the noise and bustle of family life

Take a “Me Day” (or hour)

Whatever you can swing with your schedule, take time to spend alone. I know this might seem selfish when the laundry needs folding or your kids want to play a game of Uno (again!), but think of yourself like a cup. If you don’t get that alone time to fill yourself up, then you won’t have anything to pour into your children’s and husband’s cups. “Me time” is practically a public service.

Prayer and Meditation

If you can’t grab much time, then make the most of what you do have. Finding a quiet place to refresh your soul, rest your mind, and focus on the moment can give you what you need to feel renewed and jump back into the fray.

Take up a Hobby

Consider making a new hobby or goal part of your daily routine. Take solo hikes or train for a 5k. While everyone is applauding your healthy lifestyle and drive, you’re spending hours of your week listening to your favorite music and breathing too hard to carry on a conversation with anyone who would try. Join a quilting group that welcomes beginners. You can let the conversation flow around you while you let your thoughts wander. Everyone will think your silence is the result of intense concentration. Win-win.

Encourage Quiet Time for the Kids

Setting aside time for the kids to do something quietly can give you the time that you need for your own quiet time. Creating quiet boxes for them to entertain themselves while you do your thing can keep everyone happy. Just be sensitive to the fact that you may have children that are more extroverted, and so alone time may be seen as a punishment. For those children, you may want to consider letting them pair up, or do something quietly while sitting with you.

Pass the Baton

If you are frazzled and overstimulated, and you just need a break, hand the reins to your spouse (or parent, best friend, Mrs. Doubtfire, whomever) and make a run for it. Even if you’re just lying down in your (locked and barricaded) bedroom, take what you need. Remember, you’re a cup. Fill up.

I hope these suggestions help you survive the craziness of a large family while still celebrating your introverted tendencies. Being an introvert is nothing to feel bad about. You are special in your own, quiet way and can bring something to the table that balances the extroverts in your life (and vice versa).

So, enjoy your family, but don’t feel bad when you sigh with relief when they all go to bed and the house is finally quiet. Soak up the silence. Tomorrow is another (loud) day.

 

Are you an introvert? Give these suggestions a try and see how they make your day better. Do you have any ideas that would help the rest of us? Let me know in the comments!

 

Interested in more posts on self-care for introverts? Check out these posts:

Why ‘Me’ Time is So Important for Moms

Why I Read So Much & How You Can Read More, Too

How to Savor the Moments Amidst the Busyness of Family

 

[Disclaimer: I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. This post contains affiliate links, which means that if you click on one of the product links, I’ll receive a commission, at no additional cost to you. All opinions are my own and I never recommend anything I haven’t used myself and loved.]