With kids home now more than ever, it makes sense that they should help with some of the household chores. But when should they start and how do we teach them how to do their chores right?
When my kids were small, the chores around our house mostly fell to me. I didn’t mind, and enjoyed having them help as they could in a very informal way.
Fast-forward nearly a decade, and the tables have turned. Now, most of the daily chores around the house are split among our five kids, assigned based on preference and skill level.
But to get from there to here was not some quick, overnight change. I didn’t wake up one morning and look at my tousled-haired darlings over the breakfast table, say, “Well, it’s all on you guys now. Good luck and Godspeed,” and then head to the spa.
No. Though it sounds like a nice fantasy…
In reality, chores started in fits and spurts, were assigned and reassigned, and sometimes needed a redo. But by giving the kids the right chores at the right time, and by showing them the right way to do them, my time has been freed up for things only I can do. And my kids are firmly invested in the home they live in.
The benefits of chores
As a kid, if you had chores, you probably didn’t like them. As an adult (if you’re like me) you probably don’t like them very much either.
But kids’ chores offer 3 important benefits that make them worth the trouble (beyond just a clean house):
- Chores free up time for adults that have to work or have tasks only they can do.
- Chores give children a sense of responsibility, ownership, and importance within the structure of the family.
- When we share our adult chores with our kids, we are showing them we trust them and believe in them.
Obviously, when your kids begin doing chores, it saves a lot of time for you. I appreciate this because I have homeschooling, work, and parenting duties that can’t be delegated. But loading the dishwasher can.
Children also benefit from chores, whether they enjoy doing them or not. They might not even recognize the feeling, but I’ve seen so many instances where my kids stood taller and beamed with pride when I showed them how to do a chore that they considered an “adult” job (toilet cleaning is surprisingly sought after in my house, go figure).
Kids also learn responsibility when they do chores. They know that when there are no spoons for breakfast, it’s because they forgot to wash the dishes the night before. Wrinkled clothes are what happens when they’re left in the dryer for 2 days. And inversely, they see how their work and conscientiousness keep our family running.
We can tell our kids all day long that they matter and are important parts of the family, but chores help them see it in real-time.
So there are a lot of “whys” for teaching our kids to do chores. Now let’s talk about the when and how of it.
How & When to Teach Your Kids to do Chores
This fall, more kids are going to be home than have been for decades. Remote learning and homeschooling are happening all over the country, and the world, so kids are going to be in their house day in and day out.
Homeschooling was what really spurred my teaching my kids how to do chores. They were home all day, and since homeschool lessons are much shorter than they are in regular school, they had a lot more free time. They also made a lot more mess, and I no longer had the time to clean up while they were off at school.
So, chores were implemented to both curb the daily disasters that come from 5 exuberant kids home all or most of the day, and as a way to teach them important life lessons with some of their free time.
When they were younger, they were mostly in charge of their bedrooms. I created cleaning games and challenges (as detailed in this post) to make it fun. Now they are older and are more interested in timed challenges (how much can you clean in 20 minutes? GO!).
They also prefer rotating daily chores, so Monday may be sweeping, but Tuesday is clearing the table, and Wednesday is something else. Find a schedule that works best for your family: alternating, rotating, or one full-day cleaning marathon.
I wrote about my own cleaning schedule here a while back and it may help.
How do you teach kids how to do chores right?
If you’re a perfectionist like me, you see every little smear and it makes you a little crazy (on the flip side, you can also walk past a huge mess because looking at it directly is like staring into a solar eclipse).
So directing my kids to do chores meant more than just giving them a spray bottle and sending them off with a list. It meant explaining and showing until they could do it on their own.
Like anything else, you are going to have to spend some time instructing and redirecting your kids as you help them learn their new task. They’ll need to know which cleaners work in what areas. What to use to wipe mirrors. That it’s not okay to throw away mom and dad’s mail without checking first.
You’ll need to show them to dust before vacuuming. That you rinse the bowl before putting it in the dishwasher – facing in the right direction. The right way to clean a toilet so they are getting rid of germs, not spreading them.
Teaching your kids how to do the chores to the standard you want may take some time (and some compromise – they’re just kids), but you’ll appreciate the results a lot more once they get the hang of it.
Here’s a post that goes into more detail about teaching kids to clean well.
When should kids learn to help around the house?
Ah, yes. When. When are kids old enough or mature enough to do chores?
This is definitely something that should be decided kid-by-kid, but honestly, I find that children are more adept at household work that we give them credit for. My 4-year-old can do chores, like clean the dining room table, better than I thought she could. So don’t be afraid to test the waters and see what they both like to do and have the ability to learn.
As for an age range for learning, I created some lists organized by age that could help you get a basic idea. They were based off of my own kids, so I know they work. Here you go:
15 Chores Your 5-Year-Old Can Do On Their Own
15 Chores Your 7-Year-Old Can Do On Their Own
and
15 Chores Your 9-Year-Old Can Do On Their Own
As a basic rule of thumb, have the little ones use non-toxic cleaners (here’s how to clean without harsh chemicals) and leave the tougher jobs (bathrooms and kitchens) to the older kids. And remember to account for their height and strength (my younger kids use a vacuum hose or dustbuster because the vacuum is too heavy after a while).
Sharing chores with your kids will benefit everyone in the family. Take the time to teach them and you’ll appreciate the deeper connection is creates and also the extra hands for helping.
What chores do your kids do around the house? When and how did they learn? I’d love to hear your story – leave a comment here or on social media!
Looking for more posts on cleaning and kids? Check out these popular posts:
How to Clean Out Your Junk Drawer Once and For All
3 Cleaning Routines and Choosing the One that is Right for You
The War on Clutter: Week Two- How to Put the CLEAN in Spring Cleaning
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