“Contempt is conceived with expectations. Respect is conceived with expressions of gratitude. We can choose which one we will obsess over — expectations, or thanksgivings.” -Gary Thomas, Sacred Marriage
We have all seen contempt and respect play out in relationships between people we know. We have people in our own lives that we profoundly respect, and others that we can barely be civil to. How we got to that point and that feeling was not the result of a single moment or a single act. It was a gradual change that happened over time, over the course of many events and decisions.
Our contempt comes from a slow degradation of the expectations we have for someone, as a spouse, a friend, a leader, or whatever position they hold in our lives. Whether those expectations were realistic or the exact opposite does not matter. The failure of that person to meet those qualifications that we had set forth brings out more and more disappointment, anger, and resentment, until contempt is what we are left with.
On the flip side, when we feel grateful for all that that person does, and focus on their positive qualities and actions, we grow to respect and appreciate their place in our lives.
This quote was taken from a book written about marriage, but it can be applied to any of our relationships. Setting our gaze on thanksgiving leaves little room for contempt or failed expectations. Our focus is within our control and our choice to make.
So choose to be thankful for the people in your life, instead of expecting something from them.
Have an awesome Monday!
[Disclaimer: I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. This post contains affiliate links, which means that if you click on one of the product links, I’ll receive a commission, at no additional cost to you. All opinions are my own and I never recommend anything I haven’t used myself and loved.]
Leave a Reply