Parenting is a difficult job for anyone, but learning to use encouragement as a tool to inspire and put your child’s heart in a place ready for learning can make our jobs so much easier.
“Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” (Colossians 3:21)
I always thought that this verse wouldn’t apply to me. Not because of the “Father” part, but because of the “embitter your children” part.
When you have cute little toddlers and babies, you can’t imagine any embittering going on. Then they get older…
I’ve learned this last year that as my children get older, become more independent, and begin to push back again my previously-acceptable edicts, this verse most definitely applies to me.
A child who doesn’t get encouragement will never be willing to listen and learn. I know, this is a shocker for us parents laying down the law and our expectations to our kids on a daily basis. But it’s true.
Kids need to feel our support before they can open to our words. Otherwise, our sage advice only hardens their hearts because it doesn’t come from a place of love or understanding.
And without that, our children really will become embittered.
Using encouragement to teach
By encouragement, I don’t just mean cheering them on at games or telling them they’ll do great on a test. I mean encouraging their hearts.
Showing them how loved they are. Listening to them so they feel understood and accepted. Building that connection so they feel open, warm, and receptive to what we hope to teach them.
When they feel encouraged and accepted, they are better equipped to try their best. They are willing to listen when you offer advice and options. They’re more confident in their capacity to do new things, hard things.
They get that confidence from our encouragement, not just of their abilities, but of who they are as people.
I know it’s hard not to respond to a moody or adversarial older child. But responding in kind will only bring more resentment and harden their hearts further.
Instead, listen to them and try to encourage them. It may not take at first, but you are planting seeds. Those seeds will grow if you water them a little each day.
Eventually, through prayer and practice, we can reach our children’s hearts. And from there, we can pass on the learning that God has entrusted us with, so they too can grow into the people they were meant to be.
Have a blessed Monday!
Looking for more encouragement and inspiration today? Try these posts:
Tips for Parenting with Patience and Love
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