“Be kind to yourself. Don’t compare the minutiae of your daily life to the highlights reel someone else has posted online.”
-Shauna Niequist, Savor: Living Abundantly Where You Are, As You Are
I don’t know about you, but I usually get sucked into checking my Facebook feed and Instagram right before bed. There’s nothing wrong with that, besides my “only 5 minutes” turning into 45 minutes down the rabbit hole of social media. But by the time I put my phone down, I feel different than I did before I started.
After nearly an hour of watching videos of babies who are walking (already!) and pictures of great vacations (lucky!) and stories of amazing date nights (sigh…), my mind has stopped seeing what is on the screen and has moved right on to the two-column chart. Me on one side, everyone else on the other.
All I see is everyone else’s fabulousness and none of my own. I just see dirty diapers, mac and cheese dinners, and no vacations on the horizon. Without even thinking about it, I am comparing myself to all these other people in a competition that I can’t possibly win.
Shauna Niequist has it right. We need to be kind to ourselves. Social media is great for keeping in touch and for sharing, but if we’re not careful, we forget that what gets posted is so often just the highlight reel.
It may take a dozen pictures to get the kids to all sit still and smile. The weather may be hot and muggy in those beach pics. Reality isn’t only for us, it’s for everyone. The perfection we see is only an image and doesn’t capture the feelings, conversations, and struggles that happen before and after.
Emily Freeman once said on a podcast: When you put yourself in competition with someone else, either they’re going to lose, or you are.
When you compare, you’re either putting yourself down, or someone else. Neither one is the right attitude. And you know it by the icky feeling you have in your stomach and by how your mood takes a nosedive.
We were created just as we are, in this life that we’re living, with the people who are in it for a reason. Envying what others have steals the happiness and satisfaction we have with our life and leaves us wanting more and wanting theirs. It’s no way to live.
As you go through your week, keep an eye out for envious thoughts and feelings of dissatisfaction. Usually the latter is a reaction to the former, even when we don’t remember playing the comparing game. It only takes one thought to chip away at our peace. So cut those ideas out before they have a chance to take hold.
Your life isn’t perfect, but it’s perfectly yours.
Have an amazing Monday!
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