Love can include many things, but it should never include fear, which stifles our ability to love others, love ourselves, and be loved. When you cast off fear, you embrace love.
“There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.” (1 John 4:18)
They don’t belong together. Fear and love are like that couple you meet that just makes you shake your head, sure it’s not going to end well. And it doesn’t.
Because fear was never supposed to be a part of love.
This verse points out that fear has to do with punishment. There is nothing punishing about love. Love should never be painful or hurtful. That’s not love. It might be addiction, or a broken relationship, or an unwillingness to let go.
But it’s not love.
Recognizing perfect love without fear
If you’ve ever been in a relationship where fear was the third wheel, then you may not recognize perfect love. If you fear your partner’s words or hands. Or if you fear their actions or fidelity. Or even if you fear who you are when you’re with them.
Then it’s not love.
Perfect love does not bring with it anxiety or fear or hurt. It doesn’t live under this shadow, but instead banishes the shadows.
Love is the light that bathes the dark corners. It soothes the pain and fear of the past.
This isn’t to say there is no worry or hurt in a relationship with someone you love. We are imperfect people who make mistakes and sometimes we cause emotional pain for the ones we love. But our love is not fearful, even if we as people can sometimes be.
God is our example of perfect love. Our love for Him is like that of a child for its father. We may respect His power and discipline, but we don’t fear it. And His love for us is untainted. Even when we sin, His love is still perfect.
Perfect love drives out the darkness and drives out our sin. We are made perfect by His perfect love. And we should try to live out that love in our own lives, bringing light to those around us.
Fear will never set us free. Love will.
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