Loneliness is a terrible thing. We all want to be seen and loved, most of all by the people we see and love. But what if they don’t? What would it take for us to turn our eyes to the one who does see and love us, unconditionally?
“She conceived again, and when she gave birth to a son she said, “This time I will praise the Lord.” So she named him Judah. Then she stopped having children.” (Genesis 29:35)
We’ve all felt loneliness in our lives. Sometimes because of a the death of a loved one, or moving to an unfamiliar city. Or when our friend group suddenly breaks apart.
In the last year, feeling lonely has become a universal struggle as people have stayed home, working and learning remotely. Even with six other people in my house, I still felt that sense of being alone. Like our home was an island, connected to the world by Zoom.
The world is opening up more now and slowly we are working back to a more balanced way of life. But I think this pandemic has shone a light on a loneliness we probably prefer not to look too closely at.
Social media makes us think we’re connected, but in reality, it’s just an illusion. Sending a congratulations and like to a friend’s new baby picture doesn’t make up for the fact that we haven’t seen or spoken to that friend in years.
Shallow involvement can’t feed our need for deep connection.
We don’t have to be alone to be lonely. In fact, the loneliest I have ever felt was while married. Because when you expect a certain connection, yearn for it, but it’s been damaged or cut, there is no lonelier feeling.
Even though I don’t feel that way anymore, as my marriage has grown and been repaired, I can’t forget the barrenness in my heart where I felt neither seen nor loved.
Relief from our loneliness
This verse is taken from the story of Jacob and his wives, Rachel and Leah. Through the machinations of the sisters’ uncle, Leah was wed to Jacob first, in place of Rachel, the woman he loved. This began a lifetime of rivalry and pain for the sisters, and the whole family likely.
Leah’s story hurts my heart because she seems so lonely. With no sister to confide in and a husband who doesn’t love her, she put her heart into producing children. At the first three births, she repeats that maybe now her husband will love her and be attached to her.
But at the fourth birth, instead of hoping that one more son will make her husband finally love her, she says that she will praise God. Even though this isn’t the end of the story, I feel like it should be.
In that moment, it’s as though Leah has finally seen that though her husband does not love her as he should, God does. All the time she looked for Jacob to see her, love her, appreciate her, and God already was.
Our loneliness may be caused by circumstances, by relationships, or by some inner pain, but know that even if no other person can relieve these feelings, God can.
He sees us in our hurt and comforts us. He watches us struggle and helps us. God sees our broken hearts and He loves us unconditionally.
If you’ve been feeling lonely, maybe the man-made reliefs are not what you need, are not working. That’s because we were made to find our fulfillment in bigger and better things.
This week, remember that you are not alone. God will never leave your side and is right now just waiting for you to invite Him in. You don’t need to feel lonely anymore.
Have a blessed Monday!
Looking for more inspiration and encouragement today? Try these posts:
Inspirational Monday: Feeling Joy in Times of Anxiety
How to Love Your Marriage Right Where It’s At
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