This month, my oldest is celebrating her 8th birthday. So, in honor of her, I’ll be doing a series of posts every Friday this month on some surprising lessons of motherhood that I learned from her (Here’s Lesson #1, Lesson #2, and Lesson 3). Nothing feels as scary or as wonderful (though mostly scary) as when you have your first child. That little being changes you, inside and out. And not always the way you thought they would. So join me for a look at what first time momhood taught me. You can probably relate…
What is it about a pregnant belly that makes people just want to reach out and touch? From family and friends to coworkers and complete strangers on the street, people have this strange attraction to baby bumps.
I never understood it myself. Before I had kids, I didn’t look at others’ enlarged midsections with much interest or curiosity. Maybe having three younger siblings gave me all the chances I needed to satisfy the craving.
Over the years, I developed a sixth sense about when a “toucher” was coming my way. They always seemed to have a gleam in their eye as they glanced repeatedly at my middle. Their hands were empty and fidgety as though they couldn’t wait to touch it.
I never wanted to be rude to these well-intentioned people, but after a while I yearned for a way to politely decline what I felt was invasive and way too personal. I know some women aren’t bothered by this and may even relish the attention. And while I was not above a little preening about the awesome, life-creating magic I was performing (“Oh, what did I do today? The usual- laundry, dishes, grew a human being. You?”), I preferred talking to touching.
When I was pregnant, I always worried at the back of my mind how vulnerable my baby could be. My instincts kicked up whenever someone I didn’t know well, or at all, wanted to place hands on my precious cargo.
Also, as I mentioned, it’s very intimate to be touching another person on the stomach. My bump would jut out like half a square. When someone placed an open palm on my flat box of a belly, those fingers were creepy close to my chest and the palm too near to my underwear for comfort. For that kind of access, you better put a ring on it.
So, if you, too, are looking to avoid some tummy touching, here are a few things that I learned:
- Beat them to the punch. If you notice someone coming at you with hands out at waist height, give yourself a belly hug. They’ll be instantly discouraged by the fact that you’re already taking up all the prime real estate. I might have even rubbed at a spot as though it were sore to really sell it.
- Go for the block. Hands not empty? No worries. Cross your arms so your purse dangles in front. Or if you’re at the office, hold those papers from the copy machine casually in front of you. Toddler with you at the store? Propping them on your hip creates an obstacle.
- Take a seat. Whether you intended to sit down or not, now’s a good time. Grab a seat at the break room table, your desk, or the park bench. If there’s a table or desk in front of you, your tummy is out of the way. Unless they’re going to climb underneath, you’re safe.
- Point out the obvious. If I was not in the mood to be diplomatic, sometimes I would just say what I was thinking. I truly believe that people just don’t realize how strange it is to touch another person’s stomach when you’re only passing acquaintances.
If you’re not currently pregnant, you may be worried that this lesson will go to waste. But fear not. All of the above techniques also work for covering unsightly (and unexpected) stains on shirts. So the next time your toddler knocks your elbow as you’re sipping Starbucks at the park or your baby surprises you with some spit-up, you’ve got it covered.
Literally.
Leave a Reply