New Year’s goals are important, but before we make them, we should first recap, review, and rework the ones that we made last year. For successful goal-making in 2020, let’s unpack 2019…
Hello, January. Nice to see you again. Oh, is it that time again? Why yes, it is!
I love making New Year’s resolutions and goals. Each year, I write about what goals I set and how I do. This is both a way to hold myself accountable and a way to share my successes and falters so that others can learn from them. (Yes, I am here to be your goal-making Crash Test Dummy.)
Why Recap, Review, & Rework Old Resolutions?
Why bother? It’s a new month in a new year. You may be wondering why we’re talking about the old stuff from last year.
Well, there is a lot to be learned from what we try year-to-year, what we accomplish, and what we either abandon or don’t finish.
I try not to use the word “failure” when talking about goals because it takes a certain vulnerability to assess ourselves and commit to changing. When those changes don’t happen, calling ourselves failures or labeling our goals as “epic fails” is only highlighting the negative.
Instead of focusing on what didn’t happen, let’s learn from it and see what did. This will help us make goals this year that are more in tune with who we are, what season of life we’re in, and what would make that season better.
So, let’s dig in and see what happened in 2019, shall we?
2019 Goals Revisited
This last year, I was focusing my attention on depth over breadth. Instead of having 100 goals, I wanted to focus my attention on the four things that were most important to me:
Each one of these main goals had a set of mini-goals that helped me focus and break things into manageable, bite-sized pieces. Because the worst thing you can do when making New Year’s resolutions or setting goals for yourself is go too big or too broad.
Let’s take a look at what I planned to do with my family, faith, health, and hobbies—my successes, my stumbles, and what I learned.
Family Goals
Cutting down on work. For about 10 months, I did a good job of this. I worked less, took honest-to-goodness vacation time, and took on no new clients. However, I did accept more involved positions with established clients, which upped my workload in the last 2 months of the year. But I learned something last year that allowed me to thoughtfully decide what I would or would not do to allow me time for my family. I just need to work on the word “no” a little more…
Creating margin in my day. I try to make the last two hours before bed my own. No work, just something I enjoy, like reading, doing a puzzle, or watching some TV. I still overpack my day, but I am also more conscience of the need to rearrange and bump things to another day when it’s just too much.
More positive encouragement and affection for my children. This is something I have to remind myself of each day. To look away from what I am doing and look into the eyes of whoever is right in front of me. To remember to compliment and encourage, not just correct. And to empty my arms so I can hold someone in them when they (or I) need it.
Delight in my husband, as-is. Some days, I am nailing this one. And some days my sighs can be heard around the world. This is a marriage goal that may never be complete, but is always worth working on. After all, I wanted to be delighted in just as much. I can’t expect to be taken as-is if I can’t do the same.
Include more couples time in my days. We added workout dates to our week. Nothing much, just 30+ minutes three times a week, but it’s fun to do something together that’s also encouraging healthier living. I’m still the world’s worst spotter, but hey, baby steps. We also grab lunch when possible, and the occasional kid-free dinner.
Cooking with more variety. Since the beginning of the school year, I have begun cooking more ethnic dishes, trying new recipes, and also just being more creative with the ingredients we have on hand. My kids, bless them, have been very encouraging—which is really important for a novice cook like me!
Making my home a haven. My sofa throw blanket still sits in balls of yarn in my closet, but I do have candles and music playing more often. But I think I didn’t devote as much time as I would have liked to this endeavor.
Faith Goals
Read the Bible. I do this every day, either in the morning or at bedtime. I also take part in multiple Bible studies, which I wouldn’t do this year because it becomes more about quantity than quality and connection.
Pray more. I am more likely to do this when things are stressful or a problem has arisen. I am still working on doing this even when I have nothing to say but “thank you.”
Find quiet time to listen. My morning run ends with a few minutes of quiet and meditation. I love this practice and find it really helps me start my day with a calmer spirit. Missing these 5-10 minutes is like missing breakfast—I feel the lack all day long.
Lower stress. Stress is like a brick wall between me and God. It steals my focus, my time, and my contentedness. I can’t live out God’s purpose when I run around trying to fulfill my own. This is a work in progress because I am prone to worry and control, over faith and letting go. This is definitely something I am striving toward all the time.
Health Goals
Eat well and avoid sugar. My 40-day Sugar Fast was a bust. And I didn’t do so hot around Halloween and Thanksgiving either. But. I have greatly decreased my sugar consumption and increased the protein in my diet. So, I feel pretty good about this one.
Run. 5-6 days a week, rain or shine. I love this about my mornings and feel crazy guilty when I miss it.
Do yoga. Hit or miss. I love doing it, but finding the right time and space isn’t always easy. But I do include a few minutes of yoga stretches each morning to wake me up.
Meditate. I do this for 5-10 minutes every morning after my run. I feel more alert, centered, and excited for my day after this quiet time to appreciate the morning sounds as I pray and listen for God’s call.
Take care of my eyes, skin, and self. I change my contact regularly and take my vitamins daily. But I think the skincare regimen I tried to use was too much for me, so I am sticking to my oil-cleansing and moisturizing routine. Simple and effective and gentle. Live and learn.
Hobbies & Passions Goals
Writing. I actually completed the majority of a fiction novel at the end of last year when I felt inspired by National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I didn’t finish it in 30 days but I enjoyed the push to write daily, even if I had already put down 5k words for other projects.
Reading. I joined a book club and tracked my reading for the entire year. I even shared some of my reviews in hopes that other readers might find some new gems to check out. And while I didn’t have a goal for how much to read, I ended the year at 120 books on my read list. Of all my goals, this is the one I crushed.
Crocheting/Sewing. I did not finish any of the blankets I had planned to work on this last year, and the Bible covers aren’t done either. This goal is definitely rolling over to 2020.
Play an instrument. I brought out my violin and guitar, got sheet music… and barely played a note. I need to restring the violin, but that’s not the (only) reason I didn’t play. Uninterrupted time when you can play a musical instrument (e.g. when no one is sleeping or calling your name) is hard to come by. That problem will need to be solved before this goal can be met.
Learn a language. My Chinese study stopped and started, which is not good for language development. But I have set up a few different apps and resources to help me should I choose to make this a priority in the new year.
What I learned from my 2019 New Year’s Resolutions
I learned that there are three things working against me that really hindered my goal-meeting objectives: focused time, physical space, and internal motivation.
Focused time
I need to make space in my day for uninterrupted time to focus on projects that need 100% of my attention. Working at home with kids in the house all day can make this hard.
Starting last fall, I have been spending a few early morning hours a week at Starbucks, writing and working in total concentration. This has really helped me get things done faster, maybe because I am really concentrating, or maybe because I have only a certain number of hours and it pushes me to work hard instead of surf Pinterest.
Physical space
Making room to actually do the things I want to do really matters. So, I got a desk to hold not just my laptop, but the books I want to read. I have a place that is dedicated to the projects I am in the middle of, and I know where everything is (rare in a house with this many sticky and curious fingers).
But finding a place to practice Chinese or my violin or yoga—that will make a huge difference in these goals for this new year.
Internal motivation
Let’s face it: if I don’t want to do it, it’s going to be hard to get it done. Motivation is important to anything, from writing a book to sweeping the kitchen.
Taking on less commitments and stress will be important if I want to have the energy (physical and mental) to do the things that are really important to me. So, will eating right and sleeping enough. I love this quote from the poet Belli: “I’m not myself when I exert myself.” It reminds me that I am not my best self when I am fighting through exhaustion, overwhelm, and stress.
Moving forward into 2020
Next week, I am going to share what goals I will be setting for 2020. I’ve learned a lot about goals over this last year from myself and others. I’ve also learned a lot about me.
Here’s to a New Year, new goals, and new appreciation for the blessings in life.
What New Year’s goals did you meet or miss in 2019? What have you learned from this that will make 2020 even better?
Here are some resources on goal-setting and evaluating progress:
New Year’s Resolutions: How to Make ’em and Not Break ’em
How to Set Goals that Really Matter
Why I Picked One Word to Define My Year
New Year’s Resolution Evaluation: Six Month Check-in with My Goals
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