New Year’s Resolutions: How to Make ’em and Not Break ’em

We’re already a few weeks into the year so you may be wondering why I’m talking about New Year’s resolutions now. As much as I would have loved to have made them by the time the ball dropped in New York City, that just wasn’t the case. Between Christmas, New Year’s, and the return of the kids to school, I’ve been backburnering my ideas, waiting for the perfect time to get them down on paper.

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So. Not surprisingly, there is no perfect time. Which is why I found myself writing my goals for this year on notebook pages while waiting to do the school pickup.
Ideally, I wanted what Sally Clarkson described in her book The Lifegiving Home. I wanted to sneak off to a coffee shop for the day and enjoy the peace and aloneness, sipping on my favorite drink while I pondered the fresh, new year.

Mine was kind of like that… if you replace the coffee shop with the front seat of my car, take away the aloneness and add in a fussing baby who hates her car seat, and picture less pondering and more furious writing as I listen for the school bell. But I did have coffee! Almost perfect.

But how and where we write out these goals is not as important as what they are, why we’re reaching for them, and how we plan to attain them.

I hope the what and why are because these goals are healthy ones. They are meant to make you physically, mentally, and spiritually more fit. I hope they represent who you are and who you want to be, not what you think you should be or what someone else tells you to be.
The fun part about goals is picking them. Reflecting on what you want to add to yourself, enhance, or perfect. Learning something new or just prioritizing something that has always been there.

The how, of course, is always the tricky part. Picking the right goals and the right method for reaching them is the difference between a successful resolution and a fail by February. Here are some guidelines to make it to the next ball drop:

• Follow the SMART goal guideline. SMART is a very helpful acronym to keep your goals in check. It stands for Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Realistic, and Time-based. When choosing a goal, make sure you are detailed in what you want to achieve, there is a way to measure your progress, it is something that you can achieve, it’s not pie-in-the-sky crazy, and there’s a timetable you have to accomplish it by.

My friend’s goal of losing two pounds a week until she hits her target weight is SMART (maybe not for me, but it is for her). My son’s goal of being nicer, while sweet and well-intentioned, is not so SMART. Not that I told him that. I’d be nuts to dissuade that kind of attitude.

 

• Don’t Overdo it. I’m so guilty of this. I usually pick six main categories that I want to work on (this year, they are this blog, family, projects, faith, home, and self) and then pick five or six areas I want to work on within those categories. Doing the math, that’s up to 36 separate goals. Overkill. I’ve pared it down some this year and have about 20. Still not ideal, but it’s my Protestant work ethic run amok.

Keeping your goals simple and short increases your chances of actually seeing them through to the end. If you’re pushing yourself too hard, you’ll burn out within a few weeks. I’ve seen it and I’ve done it. Learn from my mistakes (ask me in 2018 if I finished all 20).

 

• Break them down. Remember my very motivated friend who is losing two pounds a week? If she had just said she wanted to lose 20 pounds, she would have struggled under the weight of that number (sorry for the pun). She might have been discouraged by a small loss, overconfident after big ones. But by breaking it down to two pounds a week, she had a realistic and attainable goal that she could meet every seven days.

Last year, my goal was to pack and declutter my home so that we could fit the remains in a place that was one half the size. It was a daunting task and I probably would have given up on it if I had left it like that. But I broke it down into monthly, weekly, and even daily goals. I sectioned rooms, scheduled Goodwill drop off runs, and packed specific areas based off of my new timetable. And what do you know, I made it!

 

• Reward Progress. This one is important, but also dangerous. A hot fudge sundae is not a good reward for the weight loss goal being met. Nor is a shopping trip after decluttering the den. But. A bar of high-quality chocolate or the purchase of one thing you’ve been eyeing for a while is proportionate and appropriate.

Don’t just wait until you’ve met your goal. Celebrate the little milestones along the way. Our brains are hard-wired to want praise. It motivates us and pushes us to try harder to get more. Ever play Candy Crush? That game pushes the praise button every three seconds…and it is SO ADDICTIVE!

 

• Don’t Reject, Reevaluate. If something isn’t working, don’t toss the baby out with the bathwater. The goal was a good one, you saw to that at the beginning. But maybe there’s a reason you’re not succeeding. Is your life right now not conducive to what you’re trying to do? Are you being held back by outside influences? Have you lost your drive?

I had planned to write a book in 2016. What I wrote was about 40 pages. My life was full up with parenting and I just couldn’t devote the necessary time and focus that this goal needed. Could I write a book in one year? Definitely. Just not that year.

If your goals are being held back by others’ influences, you need to take a hard look at who and what they are and whether they’re worth keeping around. People who love us want the best for us. If your best friend keeps lighting up in front of you when she knows you’ve quit smoking, you should ask her why.

If your drive is gone, think about what you wanted to do with this goal in the first place. It could be you were in the right neighborhood but one street over. Did your goal to learn French have to do with a love of the language or because you wanted to travel more? Sometimes our goals are catty-corner to what we really want.

Statistically, 42% of people who make resolutions will fail. But you don’t have to be a part of that group. Follow the tips above and you’ll have a much better chance of making resolutions that stick.

 

Have you made your 2017 resolutions yet? Are there any tips that you’d add to make this year a success? I’d love to hear what you did that worked, or the pitfalls you experienced that we could all learn from. Let me know in the comments!

 

Want to turn inspiration into action? Ready, Set, Go!

1. Write out the general areas you want to work on this year.
2. Under each main topic, choose 1-2 smaller, more detailed goals that you want to accomplish.
3. Once you have your resolutions, break down the how and the when. It is much easier to succeed at smaller steps that are divided into monthly, weekly, or even daily goals.
4. Reward your hard work to keep your motivation up. Be proud of what you’ve already done and let those accomplishments fuel your confidence and push you to the end of your goal.
5. Congratulations on being part of the successful 58%!

 

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