One of the hardest parts of making New Year’s Resolutions is checking back in to see how you’ve done after a while. Not quite as hard as actually doing them, but close.
If you made a resolution or six this year and are still going strong, congrats! You are among a modest percentage of people (about 40%) who kept on after the initial flush of motivation faded. It’s not easy staying the course, especially as life changes from month to month.
But if life changes and your goals no longer fit your situation, did you really fail?
I’m going to say no, but also a little yes. Here’s why.
The lives that we envision for the following year in those last days of December are full of idealism and inspiration. We make resolutions that would change our lives for the better, from where we are standing at that moment. But what we are seeing is viewed through the lens of our lives then, and sometimes has little bearing on our lives now.
I wrote a lot about making resolutions at the end of last year because I believe it’s important to know where you’re going before you set off. Then a family situation brought us to New York without a lot of notice. A lot of diligently created goals were not applicable to my life at that moment. I had to decide if I was going to fail at them or if I was going to alter them to my new reality.
If someone resolves to go to the gym every day and then sprains their ankle, are they going to sit on the couch with a box of Ding Dongs until it heals? Or are they going to work on their upper body, rehab their ankle, and find other ways to be healthy? That’s the choice.
Life isn’t always going to follow the path we hope it will, but we can pivot right along with each twist and turn.
As for resolutions, when I look back on mine and see where I stand half a year later, I can see where I went off my chosen course, and how they shifted to follow.
- I wanted to do yoga twice a week, but rarely manage it. Instead, I put the baby in a carrier and take her for walks all around the area. It wasn’t the workout I had in mind, but it has definitely made me stronger (she’s getting heavy!) and given us invaluable bonding time.
- I meant to cut sugar out of my personal diet. Instead, our whole family radically altered theirs. My husband has changed his habits in dramatic ways. I am drinking black coffee and less sweets. My children are eating mostly organic foods, little to no junk food, and are happier and more well-behaved for it.
- I wanted to write a fiction novel. Instead, I wrote an e-book about finding peace within everyday life based on my own experiences.
- I wanted to take my kids on mini-dates for one-on-one time. But where that wasn’t feasible, I started finding time when I could give them individual attention. Pitching to my son while I ask about school. Playing cards with my oldest before she goes to her room. Hand-holding and stories before bed for the younger ones.
- I wanted to read 50 books this year, but I will most likely read more. After spending time with more prolific readers than myself, like my parents and even my daughter, who devours books with an excitement that makes me proud, I am inspired to explore more. Not just reading the genres I always have, but trying new ones.
Your goals are based on your ideal outcome, what you want most for yourself, but you may find that what you wanted last year isn’t what you want today. I’m finding that some of my goals were too time-consuming and demanding for the season of life I’m in now. Which led me to do something I have actually never done before, mostly because I think it’s a little scary.
I made a 10-year plan. And a 5-year plan. And a 1-year plan.
I remember once being in an interview when I was 22 and being asked, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” I can’t remember my answer as well as my thought process at that moment, which was, “uhh, being 27?” After years of schooling and going from one thing to another, I had never thought beyond the next step, or year.
But by making an extended plan for the next decade, it allowed me to see where I wanted to be and how much time I had to get there. It gave me the freedom to say no to some of the goals I want, but can’t truly accomplish now, and put them in a time when the rhythms of my life will flow with them, not against them.
If your New Year’s Resolutions are looking a little shaky at this point in the year, consider re-evaluating them and creating a longer term plan. Just because something isn’t right today doesn’t mean it never will be.
I’m probably not going to write that novel this year. But I am happy writing this blog, love the e-book I’ve put together, and look forward to letting my mind wander over all the possibilities for said novel. My mother’s requested mystery novel may take a lot of wandering (Agatha Christie I am not).
Remember to give yourself grace where your resolutions have been dropped and be proud of what you have accomplished. Alter, edit, and tweak what isn’t working anymore and don’t be afraid to say Sorry, Not This Year.
Most of all, pray. Let God offer His opinion on those goals. You and I make plans for ourselves. But He has capital-P Plans for us. It could be that what we thought we should strive for was never meant for us in the first place.
Are you still going strong on your resolutions? Or, like me, have you had to make some mid-year alterations? Let me know how it’s going!
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