Why We Need to Do Our Best and Let Go

Trust is hard, especially in parenting. Here’s why we need to do our best and then let go, leaving the fruits of our labor in God’s hands…

Parenting, more than anything else in life, is scary. That’s because no matter how hard we try, our very best efforts may not lead to the results we had hoped and worked for.

Parenting requires us to try and try and try, and then step back and see how it turns out. And that can be hard—especially for the control freaks among us (yep, I’m right here). That’s because there are other people involved, ones who have their own ideas and wishes that might run counter to our own.

We raise our children to be independent and free-thinkers, and then rue the day that they become such.

Recently, I was running while listening to one of my favorite podcasts, Inspired to Action, with Kat Lee. On this particular episode, she was interviewing writer and mother Heather Haupt about her (at the time) recent book called Knights in Training. And something she said really struck a chord in me. She said about parenting:

“Sow seeds and trust God with the harvest.”

For the rest of my run, I contemplated this statement. I thought about how often I explain something to my kids, hoping they understand, hoping they’ll remember, because I know in my heart and mind how I want them to grow up. I know who I want them to be. Not career-wise, but as people, as Christians, citizens, and spouses.

I am constantly sowing seeds. Sometimes good ones when I am intentional and focused on my kids. Other times, bad seeds when I am short and frustrated and leading with a bad example. Those bad seeds make me fear that I’ve really messed up. That my snappy comments or cabinet-slamming peevishness has forever ruined my kids.

But this idea of sowing seeds and then leaving the harvest in God’s hands made me realize that I was taking on a role that wasn’t mine. I was trying to control things that were far out of my reach instead of placing them into God’s more-than-capable hands.

We as parents are not in charge of the harvest. Results are not part of our job. Rather, we are to train and raise our children, give them as much wisdom as we can, and then let our teachings take root. And what grows from that root, what comes from that heart, is with God.

“Start children off on the way they should go,
    and even when they are old they will not turn from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)

God is the ultimate parent. He walks with us in this journey of motherhood—helping, convicting, strengthening, and encouraging us along the way. But what we place in our children’s hearts is where our job ends. How those hearts grow and what they do with the knowledge and love we put in them is under God’s purview.

Have you ever dealt with a tough relationship where you desperately hoped for a change? Maybe it’s a friend who has an addiction, or an unbelieving spouse, or an estranged parent.

We are only responsible for our own thoughts, feelings, and actions in those relationships. As for the other person’s heart, the only one who can change that is God. I used to pray for my husband’s heart at a time when it had become hard to those who loved him. Nothing I did could change it.

But God did.

Doing our best and letting go

Our children are going to grow up into their own people. No matter what we do, good or bad, their hearts are in God’s hands. That’s not to say we should throw in the towel and just let everything go.

We should do our best, strive to raise our kids the best we can. But we should also give ourselves grace for the mistakes and missteps, and realize that our best is good enough.

If we give our kids the tools to grow into adulthood, God will be there with them, showing them where and how to use those tools. Once we’ve done our best, it’s time to let go—and let God.

Trusting God to care for our children and raise them in ways we can’t seems scary, but also wonderful. As mothers, we only have access to certain parts of our kids—their words and feelings and situations as they relate them to us. But God sees it all, inside and out. Who better to reach the heart of a child and make them into the adult they were meant to be than God?

So, do your best in your parenting. Don’t see the faults, but relish the victories. And know that your best is good enough. Let go and give God the reins to carry your children into the next stage, growing and molding their hearts in the most amazing ways.

Then, and only then, can you enjoy the harvest.

 

Do you find it hard to let go in parenting or other parts of your life? How have you put your trust in God with the most important things and people in your life? I’d love to hear, so please leave a comment below.

 

Interested in more posts on faith and trust in God? Check out these:

Trusting the Path of Life

How My Struggle with Patience Led to My Faith

Accepting His Will Over Our Want

 

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