Have you ever noticed how much people judge each other? And how often we let those opinions on our lifestyle, parenting, hobbies, and thinking influence us?
For years (decades, even), I was uncomfortable with not conforming. I did not want to be weird. I did not want to be different. I did not want others to look at me with a confused expression because what I was saying was not computing.
I just wanted to be like everyone else.
At some point in my late twenties, I realized how dumb that was (shh, don’t tell my kids I used the d-word). Why was I hiding the unique and quirky aspects of myself that were intrinsically ME just because there would be those who didn’t relate or understand?
This wasn’t exactly a light bulb moment that changed the course of my life. But it became a fork off the river that I took, which is leading me in a slightly different direction.
I started to be honest about not watching the latest movies or most popular shows, instead of pretending that I did, or intended to, or (worse) actually did so I could talk about it and not because I wanted to.
[Disclaimer: This post may contain affiliate links. Please see below for more details]
I stopped being ashamed that I liked crime shows and self-help books. That I prefer suspense to drama. That I don’t like loud music or even popular music. That I will sing along to my kids’ VBS songs before I’ll belt out something on the radio.
I admit that I make lists upon lists and like planning everything. I prefer staying home to going out. I like having only a few close friends and not a whole brigade.
I watch Last Week Tonight on YouTube and old episodes of The West Wing, but I’m just as happy watching Curious George and the Food Network. I like crime shows because justice is served after observant people make smart deductions — all in 44 minutes.
I prefer jeans and flip flops to whatever is in fashion because being comfortable is more important than impressing… who? Who exactly am I trying to wow if the people who love me most aren’t interested in me getting dolled up most of the time?
I’d rather crotchet and watch a game on TV than see it in a stadium full of people. I don’t know the names of the players on my “team,” but that doesn’t keep me from loving the game and rooting for them.
I love writing, but I know that my words aren’t for everyone. My humor is not for everyone. And neither are my interests and passions. That’s not because there’s anything wrong with either one of us. It’s just what makes us unique.
I’m an introvert who has moments of extroversion. I used to worry that my preference for quiet, solitary activities meant I was too shy and antisocial. But this is how God made me. If we were all bubbly, social butterflies, no one would get a word in edge-wise.
Do you try to fit in? Do you quell your quirkiness so others will like you more? Do you push yourself outside your comfort zone to be someone you’re not?
Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to step out of your comfort zone. But are you doing it to grow yourself or to smother yourself?
I look at my kids and I wonder what kind of legacy I will leave them. Do I want them to grow up conforming, or being proud of the fact that God made them to be one of a kind?
There is nothing quite so bonding as when you look at another person, maybe an acquaintance or a new friend, and tell them something real about yourself. And then they sigh and laugh a little because they are right there with you and are glad that someone else is like that, too.
The friends we make and the relationships we have need to be based on our true selves, not the shiny masks we think they want to see. Because everyone wants to connect, but we can only do that from a place of vulnerability.
You’re unique and so am I, and so is everyone else in the world. We just can’t always see it past the masks that look remarkably the same.
We can be afraid of rejection, and we can be afraid of people judging us, but we shouldn’t let it keep us from following our passions, from being ourselves, and from making a connection with kindred spirits.
Surround yourself with people who don’t want you to be like them, but just to be with them. Don’t let others change you, let them enlarge your world and introduce you to theirs.
And if they see you doing something strange, like say, bringing home BBQ ribs with extra sauce because you can tear into them cavewoman-style without a restaurant as an audience to your finger-licking enjoyment, they’re happy to work the remote control for you before grabbing a piece for themselves.
Sharing is caring. And love is never asking you to be someone you’re not.
What quirky aspects of your personality do you try to keep quiet? What do you think makes you unique? I’d love to hear about it in the comments…
[Disclaimer: I am a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for me to earn fees by linking to Amazon.com and affiliated sites. This post contains affiliate links, which means that if you click on one of the product links, I’ll receive a commission, at no additional cost to you. All opinions are my own and I never recommend anything I haven’t used myself and loved.]
Leave a Reply